


Burning Love

by 6mgs7



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: All the words, But not really though, ER visit, Farce Comedy, Get The Lube Bitch, Graphic Sexual Content, I'll Edit When I'm Dead, Iggy's Gift, M/M, Sloooooow Burn, Valentine's Day, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23875672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6mgs7/pseuds/6mgs7
Summary: An ER nurse tries to get the details from Ian and Mickey about an allergic reaction they are having, but was unprepared for the story that unfolded.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 53
Kudos: 198





	Burning Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fucking Endgamers always](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Fucking+Endgamers+always).



> This story originally appeared in the Cupid's Arrow - A Gallavich Valentine Collection, and was titled Mickey's Got A Hot Ass. I'm just reposting it for a little light laughter during this lock down. Suspend all logic and medical knowledge, and just have some fun with it. 😉

  


“Ok, Mr. Gallagher. Can you tell me exactly what happened?” the nurse asked, pulling the curtain between Ian and Mickey’s bed closed to help Ian focus.

It was impossible to focus though. Mickey was laying in the bed next to him, out of sight, but definitely not quiet. He moaned loudly, letting out low painful groans as he rolled back and forth on the bed.

“ _Can someone just get me a fucking shot of morphine, please! Jesus fucking Christ, my ass is on fire!”_ Mickey cried out.

The nurse’s chest bounced up and down as she muffled her laughter, covering her mouth as she snorted through an apology to Ian. She moved quickly to close the door to their private room, catching a glimpse of Mickey rolling side to side, holding his ass cheeks through his shorts, with two wooden bedposts handcuffed to his wrists by the furry pink cuffs he’d bought Ian for Valentine’s Day. She knew she’d probably burn in hell, but it couldn’t be helped – she just kept laughing to the point of tears, wiping them away as she went back to Ian’s bed, and catching a harsh _"OH_ , _FUCK YOU!"_ from Mickey.

Ian was in just as much pain, holding three ice packs on his penis.

“Oh, Mr. Gallagher, you really need to keep the towel between your penis and the ice packs to make sure you don’t get frostbit.” She reached forward to help him do it, but he slapped her hands away, the tears running down his eyes from pain; her tears were still rolling down her cheeks from laughter.

“All right. As best as you can now,” she said, pausing for one of Mickey’s loud groans and a few _fuck yous!_ thrown in.

Ian took a deep breath, trying to find his voice. It was shaky when he finally spoke, unlike Mickey’s which was filled with pain but still strong and loud.

“Me and my hus… aauugh fuck this hurts! … my husband were, you know…” he bobbed his head back and forth, hoping he wouldn’t have to go into too many details, but Mickey was kind enough to fill in the blank for her.

“ _We were FUCKING! Jesus fucking Christ, Ian! She’s a fucking nurse, not a 5 year-old!”_ Mickey yelled.

“I KNOW THAT! Do you want to tell this??” Ian jutted his chin forward and furrowed his brows for just a second, making the entire situation even funnier than it already was, and sending the nurse into a new bout of laughter, snorting in between her attempts to stifle it.

 _“Ohhhhh, shut the fuck up_ …” Mickey groaned.

She had chosen to talk with Ian, instead of Mickey, because Ian seemed a whole lot more forgiving to the fact that no one in the emergency room could stop laughing long enough to help them. Every time a new person tried to ask either of them what had happened, that person would break into tears laughing, and Mickey would immediately threaten to rip every limb from their body. Even though he was saying it while rolling on the floor, holding his ass between handcuffed bedposts, they still believed he might do it once he was feeling better and free. Eventually the head nurse on duty arranged for them to be moved to a private room which was supposed to be reserved for severe injuries only, but at least it would stop scaring the other people in the waiting room.

Ian looked back at her, wiping tears from his eyes with his gloved hands. The nurse had put gloves on him to keep him from spreading the burning pain to any other parts of his body.

“Me and my husband were FUCKING… _there! Are you happy now_??... and we decided to break out this stuff one of his brother’s had given us as a Christmas gift. Some kind of heated, flavored lube.”

“Did you happen to bring it with you?” She asked, writing notes as he spoke.

He shook his head and looked at her like she was ridiculous.

“I didn’t even take time to put fucking pants on or find the handcuff key! You think I remembered to grab a bottle of lube? No!” He barked.

“ _Fucking, bitch! Ohhhh god it burns… someone fucking kill me!”_

“Ok, I’m sorry. Please continue.” She said, biting down hard on her lip so as not to laugh.

“Anyway, at first it was fine, you know? I tasted it, because it was flavored and it was pretty good. Felt good between my hands when I warmed it up, so I thought ‘yeah, this could work.’”

The door to their room opened and a second nurse entered – a male. He took one look at Mickey rolling around on the bed, then a glance at Ian with his penis on ice and his mouth and eyes raspberry red. The new nurse busted out laughing!

“ _Oh, you motherfucker.”_ Mickey made a move toward him, but the burning chafe in his ass set him right back down on the bed. “ _get the fuck out! GET OUT!!”_

The female nurse pushed him out the door, shaking her head as a warning and willing him to stop laughing, then went back to her interview.

“Ok. So what happened next?”

“Well, Mickey was already handcuffed to the bed, so he didn’t get it on his hands, you know – just me.” Ian pulled one of the gloves away from his palm carefully to show her the red welts that had formed from the lubricant. “Anyhow, I started… you know, putting it on…”

He nodded his chin toward his penis as if to indicate where he was putting it.

“Is that the only place you put it?” She asked, writing everything down.

“No. I… uhm… I also…” he nodded toward Mickey’s curtain but didn’t say it out loud.

_“Fuuuck… he stuck his fingers up my ass ok! You fucking sadistic bitch! Are you fucking enjoying this? Motherfucking useless waste of…”_

“Please, just ignore him. We were drinking... a lot. He’s not usually like this.” Ian said. “Ok, that’s not true. He’s usually a little bit like this, but not quite this bad. I just think he needs someone to check his butt.”

She smiled, covering her mouth to hold the laugh in, then answered, “I promise you, we have notified the doctor of the situation and he’s going to come as soon as possible, ok? We just can’t…” She tried to find the words, “Well, we just can’t put ice up his anus. It might actually exasperate the situation. Ice packs only, like yours.”

_“aaahgod, I wanna fucking diiieee…”_

“So, anyway. I had my fingers, you know, up his butt…”

“How many?” She interrupted.

“Whaa… huh? Are you serious?” Ian asked. Thankfully Mickey had been groaning too loud to hear what she had asked. She nodded and waited for his reply.

“I don’t know, why does this matter?” Ian asked.

“I need to be able to give the doctor a full description, so we can assess exactly which part of his anus might be affected.” She replied.

Mickey heard that. “ _ALL OF IT! The entire fucking ass! Write that on your fucking little note pad!”_

This time Ian joined her in stifling his laughter. His penis was finally numb enough that the burning was only a two alarm fire instead of the five alarm he’d come in with. He held up four long fingers and wiggled them as way of answering her question. Her eyes widened as if impressed, then she jotted it down on her notepad.

“Tell me when this … _reaction_ to the lubricant began. I assume you rubbed your eyes and mouth while it was still on your hands, is that right?” She said, taking a closer look at his swollen lips, and nearly closed swollen eyes.

“No, actually. I don’t think I did. At least I don’t remember doing that, but I had tasted it so maybe that was part of it.” He said.

“Ok, then how did it get here, around your lips and nose area.” She used her pen to gently touch the areas she was questioning, making him wince a bit.

“I… uh… was…”

The curtain between the beds flew open. The bedpost cuffed to Mickey’s arm nearly hit the nurse in the head before she ducked out of the way, letting out a little scream.

“I’m not gonna fucking hit you, bitch! Just moving the damn curtain. The fuck is wrong with you closing it and leaving me in here all alone.”

She considered apologizing, then realized he was only 3 feet away in the same room. She hadn’t left him in any place all alone.

Mickey caught sight of Ian, and for the first time he barked out a loud laugh, followed by a painful groan. He understood now why the nurse was laughing. Ian’s face looked like he had rubbed poison oak all over his skin, and his mouth and eyes were swollen up like he’d gone 8 rounds with Mike Tyson.

“Shut the fuck up, Mickey!” Ian yelled.

“Bitch, please! I thought I had it bad! My ass is burning worse than that time I ate the green chili habanero shit from Little Tijuana’s…” He laughed some more, “But you… _you_ look like shit!”

Ian threw his hand up in the air and flipped Mickey off. The ice pack he was holding fell to the floor and revealed his shrunken frozen penis, which sent Mickey into an entirely new fit of laughter. He rolled onto his back, his body shaking as he laughed, but no sound coming out.

“Fuck you, Mickey! I’m gonna kick Iggy’s fucking ass when I see him too! He did this to us on purpose! I knew I was right when I said it was suspicious that he gave us a gift for the bedroom, but _nooooo!_ You called me paranoid! Who’s fucking laughing now, huh?”

Ian realized the second he asked that question that it was the wrong thing to say. Mickey nearly fell off his bed from bending over sideways to hold his belly as he laughed. Somehow, he managed to get one of the bed posts which were handcuffed to his arm stuck in his hospital bed railing and it began pressing the remote buttons. His bed began to raise up from both ends, folding him into the center like a taco, but all he could do was fight the bedpost and curse as the bed swallowed him up.

The nurse rushed over to try to help him get loose, but he fought her off – “I got it, I got it!!” he yelled, but he definitely did not. Finally, the bed stopped folding as Mickey continued to try to get free. The nurse backed off and just let him figure it out, then went back to Ian.

She glanced at Mickey once, then decided he was preoccupied and turned back to Ian. “Ok, you were telling me about your mouth…”

“He was sucking my fucking asshole, ok!” Mickey said, yanking the bedpost hard and finally freeing himself.

Ian closed his eyes in embarrassment and nodded. “Yeah. What he said.” His face somehow managed to turn an even darker shade of red as she wrote it down.

“Can you … you know what, never mind.” She said, thinking better of asking him for more details, but Mickey caught on immediately.

“This bitch wants to know the details Ian. Go ahead, tell her. Fucking _perv_.” He said glaring at the nurse.

“Mr. Milkovich, I promise you, I am not trying to be difficult or embarrass you or your husband. I’m just trying to help and the more information I have the easier it will be for me to properly treat you.” She retorted. She made the mistake of thinking that if she laid down the law, maybe Mickey would behave. The voice of authority always garnered respect.

She had never been more wrong in her entire life.

“Oh, you want fucking _details_ so you can _help._ I see how this is gonna go...” he said calmly. So calmly that both the nurse and Ian got a little nervous. Ian shook his head vigorously, giving Mickey his classic _don’t you fucking dare_ glare.

“I’ll give you fucking details! Get your pen ready. _Mr. Gallagher_ put a handful of that shit on his fingers, then taking his sweet fucking time, because he likes to see me squirm, he put one finger up my ass, pulling it in and out slowly. Then he added another.” Mickey was still squirming on the bed from pain, but his determination to give her the details had surpassed his need to scream bloody murder.

“He got to four fucking fingers, looking at my swollen cock and demanded me to fucking come… and you know what I did? Exactly what he said! Yeah, that’s right, bitch. Un-fucking-touched, because when you have a fist full of Gallagher up your ass and that face…” He looked at Ian's face again and winced, “well, not _that_ face, but his other face looking back at you, you fucking come when he tells you too.”

The nurse hadn’t written a single word since he got to the point of four fingers. Her face was a mixture of beet red cheeks and pale white skin, so Ian wasn’t sure if she was overheating or about to pass out. He moved his leg over and told her to sit, because he knew this story had no ending any time soon.

“Then, while I’m sitting there with my legs propped up over his shoulders and my cum shooting out over my fucking chest, this motherfucker leans forward and starts licking it off of me. Write that shit down, it’s important. If you ever get your ass over here to check my wounds, you’ll see my chest is as fucking red as his face.”

Ian nodded as it to confirm Mickey’s claims. The nurse took advantage of the seat Ian had offered her, cleared her throat and made note of Mickey’s chest wounds.

“So now,” he continued. “We’re still going at it because contrary to the size of his cock at the moment, he’s still got this huge fucking 9-inch boner bouncing around between his legs, and fuck if I’m about to let that shit go to waste, so…”

“You know what, Mr. Milkovich, you were right. I don’t need the details. It’s ok. You can stop, I’m so sorry. You can stop, I swear.” She moved to stand, but Mickey spoke up.

“ _The fuck I will!_ We’re in it now, bitch… You, me, and my husband, and you better fucking remember this night, because it’s the only damn threesome we’ll ever have. Now sit your ass down!”

She nodded fervently and immediately dropped back onto the foam mattress. She glanced at the door for back up, but everyone was gone now.

“So, he’s still got his fingers up my ass, licking my chest, and fuck if I didn’t feel myself getting hard again, because you know what? You ain’t gone a single round with Gallagher unless you go all 12. And I was fucking in it, for all 12 rounds.” He stuck his tongue out and laughed, proud of his and Ian’s sexual ventures.

“He sees I’m getting hard, and gets all fucking jolly again. His beautiful fucking smile lighting up the whole damn room, and I’m like, ‘have at it, bitch. Don’t let me stop you.’ So that’s when he went down on me.”

“Uhm… you mean, he provided you oral sex? Is that correct?” She asked, hoping to sound clinical while doing her best to be professional in the situation.

“Yes. Oral Sex.” Mickey confirmed.

At this point Ian had one gloved hand covering his eyes as if he was a turtle hiding in its shell, but might still die from embarrassment. He wasn’t even trying to stop Mickey anymore. He didn’t dare, because Mickey had made it his life's mission at that point to get this story out, and the most Ian could hope for now was lightening to strike them both dead.

The nurse's concern changed. “Mr. Milkovich, I’m so sorry. Do you need ice packs for your penis as well?” She stood to retrieve Mickey some ice packs.

“No. Sit! It wasn’t that kind of oral sex.” He wiggled his brows and smiled. “Jesus Christ, do I have to spell every goddamn thing out for you? He was sucking my ass. Write it down. And he’s a fucking master at that shit… his tongue was an inch up my ass and I was fucking begging him for more.” He held his wrists out to show her the red marks. “You see this shit? This didn’t happen because I was trying to get away. Oh hell no! That shit right there happens because I can’t fucking sit still while he’s doing that. I was moving all over the fucking bed, pushing my ass up as high as I could so he could really get in there, you know?”

She wiped her brow and swallowed hard. Her breathing visibly heavier than it had been before. She looked all around the room because it had become almost nearly impossible to look at either Mickey or Ian.

“Mick… come on, that’s enough.” Ian pleaded.

“Shut the fuck up… So, I’m sitting there, taking it like a fucking champ, begging him to stick it in me…” Mickey noticed she wasn’t writing, so he took a second to clarify, “His _cock –_ you know, _his penis?_ I wanted him to stick his _penis_ in me…write it down… but that asshole likes to see me squirm, so he just keeps at it, sucking and blowing and licking and biting and fucking going to town like I’m a sixteen-ounce porterhouse. And I ain’t gonna lie – I knew if he didn’t stick his fucking cock in me soon, I was gonna blow again, and there’s no telling if I got three loads in me when I’m this fucked up, but I was fucking willing to give it a go! Either way, I say, “Yo, asshole! Stick your fucking cock up my ass so I can feel you when I come again.”

Mickey smiled proudly as if he knew how impressed she must have been, then continued. “I’m telling you, I knew the second his cock hit my hole I was done for. I’m sitting there holding my fucking breath, trying not to think about it, but there he was all fucking hot and sweaty bouncing the tip against me over and over and I was like ‘don’t make me fucking beg you’ but I knew he was gonna. So I did. I fucking begged him to stick it in me. Then I closed my eyes as I was begging, trying to get my mind on something else so I wouldn’t come, but that sneaky fucker did it right then! Shove that big ol’ cock of his straight in without any fucking warning. So I did what any guy would do in that situation and screamed “Oh sweet Jesus fucking mother of god!”… or something like that. Then I open my eyes and he’s just up there on top of me going to town, slamming in me like a fucking jack hammer from hell with this great big shit eating grin on his face…”

Mickey paused. The cogs in his head spinning as the pun hit him, then he burst out laughing!

“SHIT EATING GRIN!! Aaahahahahahaha!! Oh my god, that’s exactly what it was! Did you catch that, Gallagher? That was as punny as you!”

The nurse couldn’t help it. She busted out laughing as well, covering her mouth again and squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to stop.

“Jesus, Mickey! Enough!”

But it wasn’t enough. It was never going to be enough until they got to the end of it all. Ian groaned loudly, and not from the pain. His level of embarrassment had surpassed anything he’d ever experienced in his life.

“Ok ok!” Mickey said, holding his stomach and trying to control his laughter. “So, he’s fucking me, right? And THAT’S when it happened. It was like a time bomb just waiting to explode, and I think we both felt it at the same time. His fucking cock stops moving inside of me, and my fucking ass felt like a bonfire. We both start screaming, and I’m yelling “Get the fuck off of me!” and he starts running around the room, holding his fucking junk in his hands, and I’m telling him to get the fucking handcuff key ‘cause my ass is on fire, and he starts crying and …”

“YOU WERE FUCKING CRYING TOO, MICKEY!” Ian burst out.

The nurse had both hands over her face, her notepad on the floor, and she was literally bouncing up and down on her ass, laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t even trying to stop this time, the snorts coming with each breath as Mickey went on.

“I’m screaming ‘CALL 911 CALL 911’ and this bitch is over here saying ‘Noooo, I can’t. What if Sue answers the call?’ And I’m thinking Bitch, I don’t fucking care if my old man answers the fucking call as long as someone comes and saves our ass!”

The nurse was on her back now, lying at the foot of Ian’s bed, letting out screams in fits of laughter as Mickey continued.

“I’m screaming shit about the key, he’s fucking gathering clothes and throwing them at me like I’m supposed to get dressed with my hands locked up above my head, then he goes running out the bedroom door wearing nothing but a shirt and a pair of boxers. Just left my ass in there screaming.”

“I WAS TRYING TO FIND THE KEY!” Ian explained.

“Why the fuck would the key be in the fucking living room, liar! So, I grab the bedpost with my right arm and push myself back on the heels of my feet and I start pulling as hard as I fucking could, you know? This bed is ancient – used to belong to my mom when I was a kid, but it’s solid fucking wood, so I’m sitting here pulling thinking I’m gonna die, when Ian comes back in with a sledgehammer, and I start screaming ‘WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO!!’ I mean, what the fuck was I supposed to think? All I’m picturing is that one chick from the Stephen King novel who busts that writer’s legs, and I’m thinking ‘this bitch is gonna break my wrists!'

"So, I’m screaming like a fucking banshee when he starts pounding on the bedposts, stopping every few seconds to hold his cock and cry, but I don’t mention that part to him because now I’m cheering him on, ‘HIT IT! HIT IT HARDER!’ and _finally_ we hear that bitch start to crack. So, he’s hitting it and I’m fucking pulling at the post and pretty soon it gives way. So now, I’m all lit up – and not just my ass, but you know, I feel like if I can just get my other hand free, we might actually survive, you know? It was like some Titanic shit going on!”

Mickey laid back on the hospital bed to demonstrate what happened next.

“So, I’m like this, with one hand up here, and this one finally free. I swing this arm around like this to try to get a better position to pull the other bedpost lose, but this fucking post stuck to my arm swings around and hits Ian in the head fucking hard! I mean, like a bat, you know? I’ve taken a bat to the head before, and that shit hurts, but I didn’t know I hit him, so I’m over there pulling and pulling waiting for him to get his ass to the other side of the bed so he can help break me loose, but he never shows. So now, I spin back around and his ass is on the floor, knocked the fuck out!”

There was nothing the nurse could do – she’d lost total control of herself and had given in fully to this story, smacking Ian on the leg and pointing at the blood trickling down the side of his head. He nodded as if to confirm that ‘yes, that is exactly how I ended up with this cut on my head.’ She screamed out, hitting his leg once more and nodding.

“So now I’m like FUCK, I killed my husband. This is like the Valentine’s Day massacre, ok? Only I murdered him and he murdered my ass, and I’m thinking I’m gonna fucking die in that bed with fire coming out of my ass and when they find us, they’ll be like ‘Yeah, we always knew they’d go out in a blaze of fucking glory.’”

Mickey snorted at his own joke, then went on.

“I’m yelling _Ian! Ian! Come on, wake up!_ And after a few minutes he finally came to. Luckily, I think his hot cock woke him up, ‘cause he grabbed it right away and started crying again. So, I get up on my knees and start pulling as hard as I can until the post finally gets free.

"Now I have two fucking pieces of wood stuck to my arm because neither end of these poles will fit through the tiny hole in the handcuffs, but whatever… I’m free. So, I jump up… I’m limping my ass around the room trying to figure out what the fuck to do. I put this stupid ass shirt over my head and tried to get my arms in, but these fucking posts – so I end up with one in and one out like I am now. Then I put on some shorts and I grab Ian by the arm and I’m yelling for him to get his ass up. We take off running down the street, screaming and crying and looking like a fucking bunch of loons. I’m secretly hoping the cops pull up just so we can get a ride over here, but wouldn’t you know it – those assholes are always around when you don’t need ‘em, but the second there’s an emergency they’re all at fucking Dunkin Donuts.”

Mickey sat straight up in the bed and moved his arms to mimic a run.

“So I figure the hospitals like eight blocks from the house, so we’re bookin’ it. I haven’t run that goddamn fast since the last time I went to juvie. You remember that Ian? Only this time, no cops are chasing us. So finally, we get here, and run straight into the goddamn ER, screaming for you assholes to fucking help us, and all that adrenaline and shit we got from running starts wearing off and we’re back on the floor rolling around screaming.”

Mickey held his hands up in the air triumphantly.

“And THAT is how we ended up in here, on fucking Valentine’s Day. You fucking happy now? Can I have some motherfucking morphine NOW??”

The nurse nodded her head, waiving her hands in the air like she couldn’t take any more – not if he expected her to walk out that door and respect his dignity in any way at all. She walked out of the room, leaving Mickey to fall back on the bed, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“That bitch is gonna go out there and tell every single asshole that story now.” He said, giving up on the idea of ever getting morphine.

Thirty seconds later, the doctor walked into the room, holding their patient folders in his hands.

“Mr… Milkovich... aaand Mr. Gallagher.” He said, not looking up at either of his patients yet. “Happy Valentine’s Day. It says here you’re having some kind of allergic reaction. Why don’t you start from the beginning and tell me what happened?”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! 😉 Please stay home, stay safe, and well!


End file.
